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At 2.22pm, he texted 999 notifying the emergency services of his location and his intention to commit suicide. He received an automated response, which read: “You texted 999. No emergency service has been alerted. You must be registered to use this service.”

Elizabeth Day

Scorpio: “By the way, Homer. Which is your least favourite country? Italy or France”?
Homer: “…France”
Scorpio: “Nobody ever says Italy…”

When I recorded a voicemail greeting for my phone I made several attempts – in the end I settled for a message that consisted of 12 words and eight “biscuits”.

In a study published last year, researchers found that Israeli judges making the difficult and sensitive decision of whether or not to grant parole opted to do so in roughly 65% of cases after lunch, and hardly ever just before.

Jon Henley

They want to be sure, when the time comes, that no heroic measures will happen – that they will never experience, during their last moments on earth, someone breaking their ribs in an attempt to resuscitate them with CPR.

I watched the Queen open her handbag and remove a white suction cup and discretely spit into it. The Queen then attached the cup to the underside of the table. The cup had a hook on it, and she attached her handbag to it.

Jean Willis

My stubbornness saved me from slipping into anorexia – that and my greedy memories of the fried food I ate in Calabria.

Mary Garret